yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Someone signed my nipple.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
