Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize