i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
