If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Randomize
