Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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