I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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