weddingsv make me drug and hornr
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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