FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize