I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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