does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
