god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
