the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am spending my child support on dildos
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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