Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
worst night to have a conscience
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
