ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
