operation harelip BJ is a go
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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