ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize