GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
