I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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