I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
