FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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