he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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