I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I think I just sharted jello shots
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
