I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
