So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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