I have demons in me.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize