i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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