At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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