that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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