I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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