How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
