The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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