Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
