That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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