New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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