We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
