Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
