That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
