Can i not drive my cunt home
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
