omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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