i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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