this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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