woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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