Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
