Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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