you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
