Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
should my penis look like a turkey
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
