One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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