i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
