I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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