i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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