Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
