Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
