Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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