no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
return my video game
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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