Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's official drugs can't kill me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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