Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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