So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize