break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
high people should be assigned attendants
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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