Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
