a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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