only if we run a train.
done.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
