Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
