please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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