All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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