Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize