I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have aggressive nipples.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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