I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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